Fuck this shit. I can't please everyone. G, I tried to be a decent friend to you, even though your criticisms of my work were incredibly hurtful. I tried to help you out when you needed it and so on. I even dealt with your son. . . and I HATE kids. So you saying, "Boohoo, you didn't like my writing" doesn't really work with me. So fucking what? You know something else? I don't think you have much talent as a writer. Your stories are trite and bland, your grammar isn't the greatest, and you have a tough time writing characters I can give a shit about.
I was really hurt that you didn't want to be my friend anymore, but you know something? Fuck it. You want to play the "oh pity me" game and I'm not going to play. Sorry. Have fun pitying yourself.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Dear S
Dear S,
You cunt. You cum-guzzling cunt. You whore. You think you have the right to criticize me after all the shit you've pulled? Pulled and never learned from, I might add. Just because you don't have enough brains to fill an egg cup (do you even know what an egg cup is?) doesn't mean your "friend", my boyfriend, is going to make those same mistakes. And I put the word "friend" in quotes because you don't view him as a friend, do you? You view him more as a free counselor. You view him as someone you can use and leave, someone who will be there for you no matter what.
Ha. You are that dumb, aren't you? You really think that if you keep mistreating him, he'll stick around, don't you? Don't hold your breath, bitch. You keep using him like that and I'll step in, and trust me, you dumb slut, you don't want that. You may think you're hot and all that, but I can actually take care of myself, and my loved ones, and if that means disposing of a useless waste of space like yourself, I would be more than happy to do so.
You called me a whole bunch of nasty names when you didn't even know my first name. You said I was just using him, that I was going to leave him once I got married, that he meant nothing to me and that all he was was free sex. Newsflash: Just because the only thing you're good for is putting out doesn't mean that's true of everyone.
You're stupid. You have no future in this world. You can't accomplish anything and frankly, you don't want to. I know people like you. (I mean, human beings. You don't qualify as a person). You want someone to take care of you, someone you can fuck around on, someone you can mistreat, someone who will pay all of your bills so you can laze around the house and get fat. You want to be married, you don't care to whom, you want that ideal marriage where everyone is happy, but you don't want to have to work for it. You idiot, you don't even realize that that's now how it works, do you? You're too self-absorbed, too narcissistic (oops, there I go with big words again) to realize that any relationship takes work.
You blame God, you blame the world for you being single and unmarried. You don't stop to think that maybe it's your own goddamned fault! You put out on the first date, like a good little whore, and then wonder why they don't call back. You sleep around with guys and wonder why they don't take you seriously. You use people and wonder why they drop you like a hot potato. It's your own fault, you dumb cunt!
Look, you can be a slut, or you can be marriage material. You can't be both in a traditional, monogamous relationship. I don't know whether you're prone to cheating (I wouldn't doubt it, girls like you typically are), but the key word there, yes it's a long one, sound it out, is m-o-n-o-g-a-m-o-u-s. No cheating. No other people. The only other way it could work is *gasp!* polyamory. Yeah, that thing you called me all sorts of nasty names over. That thing you nearly lost your confidante, your counselor over. Bimbo.
One of the great things about polyamory is that you can trust other people. Of course, that means you have to look at the world outside of your very narrow sphere of -- you. Can you do that? Can you stop thinking about yourself for one goddamn second? Can you see the world beyond your fingertips? Ha. That's funny. Girls like you care about one thing. Yourselves. It's up to us "ugly" people to care about others. Funny thing about that, though. If everyone like you disappeared off the face of the planet tomorrow, no one would mourn. No one would notice. That thought gives me peace.
So go ahead. Whore your life away. Judge me. Judge our relationship. My relationship with your "friend" will last longer than any of your fuck buddies' and we'll come out of this game with far fewer STDs. You dumb cunt.
You cunt. You cum-guzzling cunt. You whore. You think you have the right to criticize me after all the shit you've pulled? Pulled and never learned from, I might add. Just because you don't have enough brains to fill an egg cup (do you even know what an egg cup is?) doesn't mean your "friend", my boyfriend, is going to make those same mistakes. And I put the word "friend" in quotes because you don't view him as a friend, do you? You view him more as a free counselor. You view him as someone you can use and leave, someone who will be there for you no matter what.
Ha. You are that dumb, aren't you? You really think that if you keep mistreating him, he'll stick around, don't you? Don't hold your breath, bitch. You keep using him like that and I'll step in, and trust me, you dumb slut, you don't want that. You may think you're hot and all that, but I can actually take care of myself, and my loved ones, and if that means disposing of a useless waste of space like yourself, I would be more than happy to do so.
You called me a whole bunch of nasty names when you didn't even know my first name. You said I was just using him, that I was going to leave him once I got married, that he meant nothing to me and that all he was was free sex. Newsflash: Just because the only thing you're good for is putting out doesn't mean that's true of everyone.
You're stupid. You have no future in this world. You can't accomplish anything and frankly, you don't want to. I know people like you. (I mean, human beings. You don't qualify as a person). You want someone to take care of you, someone you can fuck around on, someone you can mistreat, someone who will pay all of your bills so you can laze around the house and get fat. You want to be married, you don't care to whom, you want that ideal marriage where everyone is happy, but you don't want to have to work for it. You idiot, you don't even realize that that's now how it works, do you? You're too self-absorbed, too narcissistic (oops, there I go with big words again) to realize that any relationship takes work.
You blame God, you blame the world for you being single and unmarried. You don't stop to think that maybe it's your own goddamned fault! You put out on the first date, like a good little whore, and then wonder why they don't call back. You sleep around with guys and wonder why they don't take you seriously. You use people and wonder why they drop you like a hot potato. It's your own fault, you dumb cunt!
Look, you can be a slut, or you can be marriage material. You can't be both in a traditional, monogamous relationship. I don't know whether you're prone to cheating (I wouldn't doubt it, girls like you typically are), but the key word there, yes it's a long one, sound it out, is m-o-n-o-g-a-m-o-u-s. No cheating. No other people. The only other way it could work is *gasp!* polyamory. Yeah, that thing you called me all sorts of nasty names over. That thing you nearly lost your confidante, your counselor over. Bimbo.
One of the great things about polyamory is that you can trust other people. Of course, that means you have to look at the world outside of your very narrow sphere of -- you. Can you do that? Can you stop thinking about yourself for one goddamn second? Can you see the world beyond your fingertips? Ha. That's funny. Girls like you care about one thing. Yourselves. It's up to us "ugly" people to care about others. Funny thing about that, though. If everyone like you disappeared off the face of the planet tomorrow, no one would mourn. No one would notice. That thought gives me peace.
So go ahead. Whore your life away. Judge me. Judge our relationship. My relationship with your "friend" will last longer than any of your fuck buddies' and we'll come out of this game with far fewer STDs. You dumb cunt.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
*insert scream of frustration here*
My fiance's family is driving me nuts. The amount of hypocrisy and backstabbing just absolutely fucking astounds me.
Let's take a look at the family, shall we?
We have Dolores and Mike, the "good Christians" who are way too eager to judge and malign others. Examples include their mail, which is very anti-gay. Gays should not be allowed to have the same rights as "normal people" because they'll destroy the good Christian foundation of this nation.
We have Melissa, who finds herself beautiful and desirable. She has an underbite and her attitude is absolutely disgusting. She married into a lot of money and treats other people like shit because they don't have money. This includes her own brother, my fiance. And me, of course. She's a terrible mother to her one-year-old son, Lucas. She drops him off at her mother's house early in the morning so she can fuck around and not mother him, and then picks him up at the end of the day, when he's ready for bed. She was "so stressed" by "mothering" him that back in September she decided she needed a break and left him at her parents' house for an entire week so she could get wasted in Mexico with her loser of a husband.
Speaking of loser husbands, there's Matt. He dropped out of school after one semester (it was too hard, poor thing), and yet he has the gall to make fun of me for taking longer to finish school. I'm sorry, Matt, I don't have your penchant for giving up on things so early in the game. He dropped out of school and his daddy instantly gave him a job that he's overpaid for - the source of Melissa's money. He had the balls to make fun of me for not having a job when I lived in Arkansas...hell, at least I work for my money. Oh, and you'd never guess what I do, asshole. I strip. Yes, I take my clothes off for money. I bet your wife could never be that courageous. Ha, of course, no one'd give her any money. She's powerful ugly, that bitch is.
Laura, the hippie in Cali, was the one who got my fiance on anti-depressants 8 years ago, when he was going through a bad spell. But now that he's back on them, she decides that it's bad for him, that he has some underlying psychological problem (probably me - that seems to be the running theme in this family) that he should talk out, instead of being on anti-depressants...because they're not natural. Go smoke another cigarette, Laura, and shut the fuck up.
They've come to the conclusion that they should be allowed to say whatever the fuck they want about me and I don't need to know about it. So they can say to my fiance (in 3 weeks, he'll be my hubby and fuck his family), "Hey, control your woman. Hey, teach her how to dress. Hey, teach her how to act. She doesn't fit into our family...make her." And I don't need to know about it. They are constantly trying to get him to control me, like I'm Melissa - weak and pathetic and easily controlled. Melissa, who is 31 fucking years old and still does whatever her mommy and her loser husband tell her to do. Pathetic. Useless. What purpose does she serve to society? Um. None. She's like Paris Hilton, only uglier.
I will not be controlled. I'll dress however the fuck I like. I'll pray to whatever gods I wish. I'll continue to be a writer and not fit into your goddamn family. Fuck you.
They claim they've treated me life a daughter. Really. Would you castigate your daughter to all the other family members before giving her a chance to defend herself? I don't see you doing that to Melissa, who actually deserves it. All I see is you defending that toolshed Matt. Yeah, I said he has a job his daddy got him. It's true. You cannot come back at me and say "Well, don't you work for your mother?" No. I do not. I fixed an ATM once for her. That does not constitute being hired by my mother. You know what I do, Dolores? I worship a Goddess. I strip. Yes, not only do I work in a strip club, I dance there. I take my clothes off and shove my tits - your son's tits, excuse me - in other men's faces, for money. If they pay extra, I grind on them for five minutes and put my pussy in their faces. I make them want to take me home. A lot of them try to. What does your "good Catholic Christian" upbringing say about that? Oh, and you know what else I do? After work, after I've sold my body to the highest bidder for 8 fucking hours, I go home to my other boyfriend, Phil. Yes, I have another boyfriend. Your greatest fear is confirmed. I'm cheating on your son. Except I'm not, you dumb bitch, because he knows about it. I'm having sex with two people...outside of marriage! Gasp! Scandal! Except, you know, your own daughters did that, and it wasn't such a big fucking deal.
You say you treated me like a daughter and that I shouldn't take Matt and Melissa's abuse so seriously. Take your own goddamn advice. Don't take my story beheading your beloved assholes so seriously. I mean, it's just a little beheading. It's no big deal, right? They're your favorites, everyone knows this, because they were the first ones to get knocked up. Congratu-fuckin-lations, Melissa, you've managed to make me ashamed to be a woman. Way to follow the good ol' southern catholic leanings of drop out of school, get married, make babies. Way to be your own person.
It doesn't matter that I'm going to give them more babies. Or better ones, even. Yes, they might be a little black, but so what. Love them anyway, assholes. My children will be smarter and more in tune with the world. Matt doesn't want my fiance spending too much time with Lucas because my fiance has cross-dressed for good reasons (the Breast Cancer run, for example) and he doesn't want that to rub off on his son. Matt is a terrible example for a father. I feel like it's almost abuse leaving Lucas in Matt's care for very long. Or Melissa's, though that's more a case of neglect.
It just astounds me. They don't know 90% of the shit Eric and I get up to, but what they do know, they have the gall to judge me and lambast me and castigate me on, and they still somehow convince themselves that they're doing their Christian duty!!!
Yes, I realize I didn't lead your son back into the Christian fold. Ever think maybe that's because it's not the best avenue for our lives? Christianity has two main rules: Love each other as yourselves, and Love God above all others. I'd say the first is the most important one to follow, which Eric does quite faithfully. The God one isn't necessary as long as you follow the first one. Personally, I believe in multiple gods - A Goddess and a God, at the very least. In their close-minded little world, though, it's worse to be a pagan than an atheist. Fuck em. That's all I can say is fuck em. I can't take any more of their bullshit, so I'm just going to pretend they don't fucking exist.
I'm in your family, assholes. I'm your family member, too. You can be ashamed of me, if you want. That's your choice. I won't acknowledge you in my books, or in real life, for that matter, unless absolutely necessary. Your son and I eloped and there's nothing you can do to stop it. We're going to be married here in 3 weeks and fuck you all. You can dislike me, you can talk shit about me - all you're doing is hurting your son. I don't care. I couldn't care less that hypocrites like you don't like me. I'm going to continue being a goddess-worshiping, stripping polyamorous person. If you keep pissing me off, you might even get to know these few facts. Just to give you an aneurysm. Just to see how far off your gasket you go this time. I'm kinda interested, actually. I'll start off with stripping. Letting you know I'm a "waitress" in a strip club. See how well that works. Once you've almost calmed down from that, I'll tell you I'm a stripper. And just work from there.
*Sigh* Of course I'm not going to actually do that. but you gotta admit, the thought is appetizing.
I give up on them. I'm through with them. I don't care what they do or what they say anymore. I'm going to defriend the whole lot of them on facebook, so I can be free a little bit more. Thank the gods for small favors.
I'm spent. For now. This'll probably be a running thing for awhile. I've been done some great wrongs, and this is the only way to vent about it.
Let's take a look at the family, shall we?
We have Dolores and Mike, the "good Christians" who are way too eager to judge and malign others. Examples include their mail, which is very anti-gay. Gays should not be allowed to have the same rights as "normal people" because they'll destroy the good Christian foundation of this nation.
We have Melissa, who finds herself beautiful and desirable. She has an underbite and her attitude is absolutely disgusting. She married into a lot of money and treats other people like shit because they don't have money. This includes her own brother, my fiance. And me, of course. She's a terrible mother to her one-year-old son, Lucas. She drops him off at her mother's house early in the morning so she can fuck around and not mother him, and then picks him up at the end of the day, when he's ready for bed. She was "so stressed" by "mothering" him that back in September she decided she needed a break and left him at her parents' house for an entire week so she could get wasted in Mexico with her loser of a husband.
Speaking of loser husbands, there's Matt. He dropped out of school after one semester (it was too hard, poor thing), and yet he has the gall to make fun of me for taking longer to finish school. I'm sorry, Matt, I don't have your penchant for giving up on things so early in the game. He dropped out of school and his daddy instantly gave him a job that he's overpaid for - the source of Melissa's money. He had the balls to make fun of me for not having a job when I lived in Arkansas...hell, at least I work for my money. Oh, and you'd never guess what I do, asshole. I strip. Yes, I take my clothes off for money. I bet your wife could never be that courageous. Ha, of course, no one'd give her any money. She's powerful ugly, that bitch is.
Laura, the hippie in Cali, was the one who got my fiance on anti-depressants 8 years ago, when he was going through a bad spell. But now that he's back on them, she decides that it's bad for him, that he has some underlying psychological problem (probably me - that seems to be the running theme in this family) that he should talk out, instead of being on anti-depressants...because they're not natural. Go smoke another cigarette, Laura, and shut the fuck up.
They've come to the conclusion that they should be allowed to say whatever the fuck they want about me and I don't need to know about it. So they can say to my fiance (in 3 weeks, he'll be my hubby and fuck his family), "Hey, control your woman. Hey, teach her how to dress. Hey, teach her how to act. She doesn't fit into our family...make her." And I don't need to know about it. They are constantly trying to get him to control me, like I'm Melissa - weak and pathetic and easily controlled. Melissa, who is 31 fucking years old and still does whatever her mommy and her loser husband tell her to do. Pathetic. Useless. What purpose does she serve to society? Um. None. She's like Paris Hilton, only uglier.
I will not be controlled. I'll dress however the fuck I like. I'll pray to whatever gods I wish. I'll continue to be a writer and not fit into your goddamn family. Fuck you.
They claim they've treated me life a daughter. Really. Would you castigate your daughter to all the other family members before giving her a chance to defend herself? I don't see you doing that to Melissa, who actually deserves it. All I see is you defending that toolshed Matt. Yeah, I said he has a job his daddy got him. It's true. You cannot come back at me and say "Well, don't you work for your mother?" No. I do not. I fixed an ATM once for her. That does not constitute being hired by my mother. You know what I do, Dolores? I worship a Goddess. I strip. Yes, not only do I work in a strip club, I dance there. I take my clothes off and shove my tits - your son's tits, excuse me - in other men's faces, for money. If they pay extra, I grind on them for five minutes and put my pussy in their faces. I make them want to take me home. A lot of them try to. What does your "good Catholic Christian" upbringing say about that? Oh, and you know what else I do? After work, after I've sold my body to the highest bidder for 8 fucking hours, I go home to my other boyfriend, Phil. Yes, I have another boyfriend. Your greatest fear is confirmed. I'm cheating on your son. Except I'm not, you dumb bitch, because he knows about it. I'm having sex with two people...outside of marriage! Gasp! Scandal! Except, you know, your own daughters did that, and it wasn't such a big fucking deal.
You say you treated me like a daughter and that I shouldn't take Matt and Melissa's abuse so seriously. Take your own goddamn advice. Don't take my story beheading your beloved assholes so seriously. I mean, it's just a little beheading. It's no big deal, right? They're your favorites, everyone knows this, because they were the first ones to get knocked up. Congratu-fuckin-lations, Melissa, you've managed to make me ashamed to be a woman. Way to follow the good ol' southern catholic leanings of drop out of school, get married, make babies. Way to be your own person.
It doesn't matter that I'm going to give them more babies. Or better ones, even. Yes, they might be a little black, but so what. Love them anyway, assholes. My children will be smarter and more in tune with the world. Matt doesn't want my fiance spending too much time with Lucas because my fiance has cross-dressed for good reasons (the Breast Cancer run, for example) and he doesn't want that to rub off on his son. Matt is a terrible example for a father. I feel like it's almost abuse leaving Lucas in Matt's care for very long. Or Melissa's, though that's more a case of neglect.
It just astounds me. They don't know 90% of the shit Eric and I get up to, but what they do know, they have the gall to judge me and lambast me and castigate me on, and they still somehow convince themselves that they're doing their Christian duty!!!
Yes, I realize I didn't lead your son back into the Christian fold. Ever think maybe that's because it's not the best avenue for our lives? Christianity has two main rules: Love each other as yourselves, and Love God above all others. I'd say the first is the most important one to follow, which Eric does quite faithfully. The God one isn't necessary as long as you follow the first one. Personally, I believe in multiple gods - A Goddess and a God, at the very least. In their close-minded little world, though, it's worse to be a pagan than an atheist. Fuck em. That's all I can say is fuck em. I can't take any more of their bullshit, so I'm just going to pretend they don't fucking exist.
I'm in your family, assholes. I'm your family member, too. You can be ashamed of me, if you want. That's your choice. I won't acknowledge you in my books, or in real life, for that matter, unless absolutely necessary. Your son and I eloped and there's nothing you can do to stop it. We're going to be married here in 3 weeks and fuck you all. You can dislike me, you can talk shit about me - all you're doing is hurting your son. I don't care. I couldn't care less that hypocrites like you don't like me. I'm going to continue being a goddess-worshiping, stripping polyamorous person. If you keep pissing me off, you might even get to know these few facts. Just to give you an aneurysm. Just to see how far off your gasket you go this time. I'm kinda interested, actually. I'll start off with stripping. Letting you know I'm a "waitress" in a strip club. See how well that works. Once you've almost calmed down from that, I'll tell you I'm a stripper. And just work from there.
*Sigh* Of course I'm not going to actually do that. but you gotta admit, the thought is appetizing.
I give up on them. I'm through with them. I don't care what they do or what they say anymore. I'm going to defriend the whole lot of them on facebook, so I can be free a little bit more. Thank the gods for small favors.
I'm spent. For now. This'll probably be a running thing for awhile. I've been done some great wrongs, and this is the only way to vent about it.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Fuck it, I give up
When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. When life gives you shit, there's not much else you can do with it. You just grin and bear it. I am convinced now that my life was one that has been blessed by shit.
I once told my fiance that life is not meant for having fun, life is about surviving. Life is a game, the whole point of which is to survive the longest. Last one alive wins. That viewpoint had, with lots of time and energy, been replaced by his, which is that life is an adventure, to be had with high spirits.
Fuck that shit. Fuck this shit. Fuck everything. There is no winning this game. If you give up and leave early, you're seen as weak. If you continue on to the end, you have to endure a lot of shit over a period of a long long long time. There's really no winning. I can see where the gnostics come from - god is an evil god who delights in humanity's pain, and the god who created the universe is trying to mitigate his superior officer's evil.
I went to a party yesterday. It was fun until I realized the truth later. My boyfriend got kissed by someone I can't respect and am learning not to like. I'm not in any of the pictures taken and that's for the best. When I disappear, there'll be less evidence that I even existed.
They don't want me to disappear, my fiance and my boyfriend. They would be worried about me nonstop, especially the boyfriend. I just can't fight anymore. I don't want to fight with anyone anymore. I need my own company for awhile. I need to just...be. I don't want to be someone's squeeze, or friend, or relative. I just want to be me. By myself. On my own. For my own sake.
What I need is a compound fracture break. Not any of this little shit, these little hairline fracture breaks. I need bone poking through the skin, blood spurting everywhere break. I need to break shit, throw things against the wall, scream, cry, punch walls, and just completely fall apart. Tonight wasn't the night, but soon. Soooooooon
I once told my fiance that life is not meant for having fun, life is about surviving. Life is a game, the whole point of which is to survive the longest. Last one alive wins. That viewpoint had, with lots of time and energy, been replaced by his, which is that life is an adventure, to be had with high spirits.
Fuck that shit. Fuck this shit. Fuck everything. There is no winning this game. If you give up and leave early, you're seen as weak. If you continue on to the end, you have to endure a lot of shit over a period of a long long long time. There's really no winning. I can see where the gnostics come from - god is an evil god who delights in humanity's pain, and the god who created the universe is trying to mitigate his superior officer's evil.
I went to a party yesterday. It was fun until I realized the truth later. My boyfriend got kissed by someone I can't respect and am learning not to like. I'm not in any of the pictures taken and that's for the best. When I disappear, there'll be less evidence that I even existed.
They don't want me to disappear, my fiance and my boyfriend. They would be worried about me nonstop, especially the boyfriend. I just can't fight anymore. I don't want to fight with anyone anymore. I need my own company for awhile. I need to just...be. I don't want to be someone's squeeze, or friend, or relative. I just want to be me. By myself. On my own. For my own sake.
What I need is a compound fracture break. Not any of this little shit, these little hairline fracture breaks. I need bone poking through the skin, blood spurting everywhere break. I need to break shit, throw things against the wall, scream, cry, punch walls, and just completely fall apart. Tonight wasn't the night, but soon. Soooooooon
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Some things about polyamory
So I'm learning new things about polyamory all the time. Some of them are good, some of them are bad, and some of them are middlin. This new revelation happens to be a good one.
I get more orgasms per day than any woman has any right to.
I'm seriously dating two wonderful guys, both of whom I plan on marrying (ask me about that sometime) and both of whom give me so many orgasms its easy to lose count. I mean, ok, I'm a multiorgasmer, which means I come easy and I come often. But still, being able to have sex with two different guys means a whole variety of, well, sex. Sometimes its sweet, sometimes its kinky, but its always, always good.
I don't have a lot of time to go into this, and maybe for decorum's sake, I shouldn't go into it anyway. I'm just gonna leave it at - two wonderful guys, two wonderful sex lives = very very happy WW. :-D
More on polyamory next time.
I get more orgasms per day than any woman has any right to.
I'm seriously dating two wonderful guys, both of whom I plan on marrying (ask me about that sometime) and both of whom give me so many orgasms its easy to lose count. I mean, ok, I'm a multiorgasmer, which means I come easy and I come often. But still, being able to have sex with two different guys means a whole variety of, well, sex. Sometimes its sweet, sometimes its kinky, but its always, always good.
I don't have a lot of time to go into this, and maybe for decorum's sake, I shouldn't go into it anyway. I'm just gonna leave it at - two wonderful guys, two wonderful sex lives = very very happy WW. :-D
More on polyamory next time.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
This is actually quite amazing...
Just when I think "It can't get worse" it does.
Three weeks ago, I brought a friend to visit my in-laws. I put my head on his shoulder and his family saw. They decided that I was cheating on him.
But wait, it gets better
They decided that, instead of talking to me or my fiance about it, that they should discuss it amongst themselves, and then talk to me or my fiance.
But wait, it gets better
They demanded an explanation, so I took my time in giving it to them, so I wouldn't just fire the first angry email that popped into my mind. I sent his mother a thoughtful email saying "Look, you misunderstood everything you saw, you've caused he and I a whole lot of sturm and drang we didn't need. And in addition to that, you've decided to hold a committee to talk about my 'transgression'. And doesn't the Bible say 'don't gossip, don't judge?'" And my mother-in-law decides to forward that to everyone on her mailing list.
But wait, it gets better
I posted on my facebook page a blog post, stating that people who claim to be a religion ought to have to take a test on the basic core tenets of that religion, just like immigrants who want to become Americans have to take a test on American history. I said that I'm dealing with a lot of hypocrisy in my family right now with the whole Christian aspect. My fiance's eldest brother read that and posted a furious comment, saying that what was I saying about his parents? I should live my life however I like, but I shouldn't bring it into his parents' house and flaunt it, and that basically he was through with me.
But wait, it gets better
While all this is going on, I'm dealing with drama with a girl in our social circle. She decided she was going to break up with her fiance by cheating on him with my ex-boyfriend and current roommate. I talked to her about this via email. She decided she's gonna bring everyone into this mess, by saying I attacked her, and so on and so forth, while conveniently forgetting to mention that she cheated on her fiance.
But wait, it gets better
She's decided that, since she is impotent against me, she will take it out on my boyfriend and her fiance. You know, since they have so much to do with this whole mess and all. *rolls eyes*.
And finally?
Got the message today that my psychiatrist has lost his license so all his prescriptions are invalid...I only have 10 pills left of one of my drugs that has really nasty withdrawal symptoms, and the soonest I might possibly be able to see anyone is this Friday. And that's if the gods smile on me. The rest of my drugs are waning as well.
So honestly, I want to say "It can't get any worse" but since the universe seems to be a rather perverse place, I know it would just end with someone close to me dying. That would be intolerable.
*sigh*
Three weeks ago, I brought a friend to visit my in-laws. I put my head on his shoulder and his family saw. They decided that I was cheating on him.
But wait, it gets better
They decided that, instead of talking to me or my fiance about it, that they should discuss it amongst themselves, and then talk to me or my fiance.
But wait, it gets better
They demanded an explanation, so I took my time in giving it to them, so I wouldn't just fire the first angry email that popped into my mind. I sent his mother a thoughtful email saying "Look, you misunderstood everything you saw, you've caused he and I a whole lot of sturm and drang we didn't need. And in addition to that, you've decided to hold a committee to talk about my 'transgression'. And doesn't the Bible say 'don't gossip, don't judge?'" And my mother-in-law decides to forward that to everyone on her mailing list.
But wait, it gets better
I posted on my facebook page a blog post, stating that people who claim to be a religion ought to have to take a test on the basic core tenets of that religion, just like immigrants who want to become Americans have to take a test on American history. I said that I'm dealing with a lot of hypocrisy in my family right now with the whole Christian aspect. My fiance's eldest brother read that and posted a furious comment, saying that what was I saying about his parents? I should live my life however I like, but I shouldn't bring it into his parents' house and flaunt it, and that basically he was through with me.
But wait, it gets better
While all this is going on, I'm dealing with drama with a girl in our social circle. She decided she was going to break up with her fiance by cheating on him with my ex-boyfriend and current roommate. I talked to her about this via email. She decided she's gonna bring everyone into this mess, by saying I attacked her, and so on and so forth, while conveniently forgetting to mention that she cheated on her fiance.
But wait, it gets better
She's decided that, since she is impotent against me, she will take it out on my boyfriend and her fiance. You know, since they have so much to do with this whole mess and all. *rolls eyes*.
And finally?
Got the message today that my psychiatrist has lost his license so all his prescriptions are invalid...I only have 10 pills left of one of my drugs that has really nasty withdrawal symptoms, and the soonest I might possibly be able to see anyone is this Friday. And that's if the gods smile on me. The rest of my drugs are waning as well.
So honestly, I want to say "It can't get any worse" but since the universe seems to be a rather perverse place, I know it would just end with someone close to me dying. That would be intolerable.
*sigh*
Thursday, October 14, 2010
This is not...
I am not interested in how this is all magically my fault. I'm not interested in why you had to get involved. I'm not interested in your accusations, your lies, your anger, even hatred, your "fml"s, your disgust, your past, present, or future. I'm done with you.
And you. You harlot, you whore, you cum-guzzling cunt, you immature, childish, backstabbing, selfish, egotistical bitch. You want to make people choose sides? You know why you hate me? You know why you find me so loathsome? Because you're self-centered and insecure. You just can't stand the thought that you might need to share the popularity. You just can't stomach the idea that there might be someone out there to rival your "beauty" and "charisma" - neither of which I've seen much of. You're no longer the only cute nerd chick in the group. So how do you handle this? By attacking me. It's the only thing you can do. You don't have enough brains to fill an egg cup, so intelligent discourse is beyond you. You need to drag people down with you, so you're not alone in hell.
And all of you. If you don't like me, have the balls to say it to my face. Don't hold committees to talk about why I'm unsuitable for your family, then decide to talk to me about it. Don't call me names and then expect to get invited to the wedding. That ain't gonna fly. I refuse to have that. You all claim to be Christians...well you sure as hell refuse to act like them. I could list all the verses that say "Hey, don't treat people like shit" but why would you listen? I'm just a witch. What would I know about treating people properly? I worship Satan, of course. I murder babies, too, so you might want to watch out for the kid. Don't let Aunt Sarah nearby, otherwise he might grow up to have left-leaning thoughts and ideas. Like, gasp, homosexuality is ok! Cross-dressing isn't bad. Black people are people. Love is not a finite resource, and I'm free to give as much of it as I want or have to however many people I want. It's okay to be a sexually-liberated utilitarian troublemaker, as long as no one gets hurt (hear that, rant #2? No one gets hurt!)
I'm through with all of you. Rant #1, get the hell out of the apartment as soon as you can, because I can only be civil for so long. Hell, go hook up with Rant #2 again. That oughta pass the time and increase the drama, which you could then blame on me! That's your MO after all, isn't it? Rant #2, you disgust me and I would be equally happy never speaking to you again or watching you fall from a tall cliff. And Rant #3, I'm stuck with you, but if I actually do move halfway across the world, then I wouldn't even have to see you for holidays. And once I have kids...well, it'll depend on if you've apologized for your appalling behaviour yet.
Now to curl up and sleep for a million years, with my love right beside me.
And you. You harlot, you whore, you cum-guzzling cunt, you immature, childish, backstabbing, selfish, egotistical bitch. You want to make people choose sides? You know why you hate me? You know why you find me so loathsome? Because you're self-centered and insecure. You just can't stand the thought that you might need to share the popularity. You just can't stomach the idea that there might be someone out there to rival your "beauty" and "charisma" - neither of which I've seen much of. You're no longer the only cute nerd chick in the group. So how do you handle this? By attacking me. It's the only thing you can do. You don't have enough brains to fill an egg cup, so intelligent discourse is beyond you. You need to drag people down with you, so you're not alone in hell.
And all of you. If you don't like me, have the balls to say it to my face. Don't hold committees to talk about why I'm unsuitable for your family, then decide to talk to me about it. Don't call me names and then expect to get invited to the wedding. That ain't gonna fly. I refuse to have that. You all claim to be Christians...well you sure as hell refuse to act like them. I could list all the verses that say "Hey, don't treat people like shit" but why would you listen? I'm just a witch. What would I know about treating people properly? I worship Satan, of course. I murder babies, too, so you might want to watch out for the kid. Don't let Aunt Sarah nearby, otherwise he might grow up to have left-leaning thoughts and ideas. Like, gasp, homosexuality is ok! Cross-dressing isn't bad. Black people are people. Love is not a finite resource, and I'm free to give as much of it as I want or have to however many people I want. It's okay to be a sexually-liberated utilitarian troublemaker, as long as no one gets hurt (hear that, rant #2? No one gets hurt!)
I'm through with all of you. Rant #1, get the hell out of the apartment as soon as you can, because I can only be civil for so long. Hell, go hook up with Rant #2 again. That oughta pass the time and increase the drama, which you could then blame on me! That's your MO after all, isn't it? Rant #2, you disgust me and I would be equally happy never speaking to you again or watching you fall from a tall cliff. And Rant #3, I'm stuck with you, but if I actually do move halfway across the world, then I wouldn't even have to see you for holidays. And once I have kids...well, it'll depend on if you've apologized for your appalling behaviour yet.
Now to curl up and sleep for a million years, with my love right beside me.
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