This is not...

I am not interested in how this is all magically my fault.  I'm not interested in why you had to get involved.  I'm not interested in your accusations, your lies, your anger, even hatred, your "fml"s, your disgust, your past, present, or future.  I'm done with you.

And you.  You harlot, you whore, you cum-guzzling cunt, you immature, childish, backstabbing, selfish, egotistical bitch.  You want to make people choose sides?  You know why you hate me?  You know why you find me so loathsome?  Because you're self-centered and insecure.  You just can't stand the thought that you might need to share the popularity.  You just can't stomach the idea that there might be someone out there to rival your "beauty" and "charisma" - neither of which I've seen much of.  You're no longer the only cute nerd chick in the group.  So how do you handle this?  By attacking me.  It's the only thing you can do.  You don't have enough brains to fill an egg cup, so intelligent discourse is beyond you.  You need to drag people down with you, so you're not alone in hell.

And all of you.  If you don't like me, have the balls to say it to my face.  Don't hold committees to talk about why I'm unsuitable for your family, then decide to talk to me about it.  Don't call me names and then expect to get invited to the wedding.  That ain't gonna fly.  I refuse to have that.  You all claim to be Christians...well you sure as hell refuse to act like them.  I could list all the verses that say "Hey, don't treat people like shit" but why would you listen?  I'm just a witch.  What would I know about treating people properly?  I worship Satan, of course.  I murder babies, too, so you might want to watch out for the kid.  Don't let Aunt Sarah nearby, otherwise he might grow up to have left-leaning thoughts and ideas.  Like, gasp, homosexuality is ok!  Cross-dressing isn't bad.  Black people are people.  Love is not a finite resource, and I'm free to give as much of it as I want or have to however many people I want.  It's okay to be a sexually-liberated utilitarian troublemaker, as long as no one gets hurt (hear that, rant #2?  No one gets hurt!)

I'm through with all of you.  Rant #1, get the hell out of the apartment as soon as you can, because I can only be civil for so long.  Hell, go hook up with Rant #2 again.  That oughta pass the time and increase the drama, which you could then blame on me! That's your MO after all, isn't it?  Rant #2, you disgust me and I would be equally happy never speaking to you again or watching you fall from a tall cliff.  And Rant #3, I'm stuck with you, but if I actually do move halfway across the world, then I wouldn't even have to see you for holidays.  And once I have kids...well, it'll depend on if you've apologized for your appalling behaviour yet.

Now to curl up and sleep for a million years, with my love right beside me.