*insert scream of frustration here*

My fiance's family is driving me nuts.  The amount of hypocrisy and backstabbing just absolutely fucking astounds me.

Let's take a look at the family, shall we?

We have Dolores and Mike, the "good Christians" who are way too eager to judge and malign others.  Examples include their mail, which is very anti-gay.  Gays should not be allowed to have the same rights as "normal people" because they'll destroy the good Christian foundation of this nation. 

We have Melissa, who finds herself beautiful and desirable.  She has an underbite and her attitude is absolutely disgusting.  She married into a lot of money and treats other people like shit because they don't have money.  This includes her own brother, my fiance.  And me, of course.  She's a terrible mother to her one-year-old son, Lucas.  She drops him off at her mother's house early in the morning so she can fuck around and not mother him, and then picks him up at the end of the day, when he's ready for bed.  She was "so stressed" by "mothering" him that back in September she decided she needed a break and left him at her parents' house for an entire week so she could get wasted in Mexico with her loser of a husband.

Speaking of loser husbands, there's Matt.  He dropped out of school after one semester (it was too hard, poor thing), and yet he has the gall to make fun of me for taking longer to finish school.  I'm sorry, Matt, I don't have your penchant for giving up on things so early in the game.  He dropped out of school and his daddy instantly gave him a job that he's overpaid for - the source of Melissa's money.  He had the balls to make fun of me for not having a job when I lived in Arkansas...hell, at least I work for my money.  Oh, and you'd never guess what I do, asshole.  I strip.  Yes, I take my clothes off for money.  I bet your wife could never be that courageous.  Ha, of course, no one'd give her any money.  She's powerful ugly, that bitch is.

Laura, the hippie in Cali, was the one who got my fiance on anti-depressants 8 years ago, when he was going through a bad spell.  But now that he's back on them, she decides that it's bad for him, that he has some underlying psychological problem (probably me - that seems to be the running theme in this family) that he should talk out, instead of being on anti-depressants...because they're not natural.  Go smoke another cigarette, Laura, and shut the fuck up.

They've come to the conclusion that they should be allowed to say whatever the fuck they want about me and I don't need to know about it.  So they can say to my fiance (in 3 weeks, he'll be my hubby and fuck his family), "Hey, control your woman.  Hey, teach her how to dress.  Hey, teach her how to act.  She doesn't fit into our family...make her."  And I don't need to know about it.  They are constantly trying to get him to control me, like I'm Melissa - weak and pathetic and easily controlled.  Melissa, who is 31 fucking years old and still does whatever her mommy and her loser husband tell her to do.  Pathetic.  Useless.  What purpose does she serve to society?  Um.  None.  She's like Paris Hilton, only uglier.

I will not be controlled.  I'll dress however the fuck I like.  I'll pray to whatever gods I wish.  I'll continue to be a writer and not fit into your goddamn family.  Fuck you.

They claim they've treated me life a daughter.  Really.  Would you castigate your daughter to all the other family members before giving her a chance to defend herself?  I don't see you doing that to Melissa, who actually deserves it.  All I see is you defending that toolshed Matt.  Yeah, I said he has a job his daddy got him.  It's true.  You cannot come back at me and say "Well, don't you work for your mother?"  No.  I do not.  I fixed an ATM once for her.  That does not constitute being hired by my mother.  You know what I do, Dolores?  I worship a Goddess.  I strip.  Yes, not only do I work in a strip club, I dance there.  I take my clothes off and shove my tits - your son's tits, excuse me - in other men's faces, for money.  If they pay extra, I grind on them for five minutes and put my pussy in their faces. I make them want to take me home.  A lot of them try to.  What does your "good Catholic Christian" upbringing say about that?  Oh, and you know what else I do?  After work, after I've sold my body to the highest bidder for 8 fucking hours, I go home to my other boyfriend, Phil.  Yes, I have another boyfriend.  Your greatest fear is confirmed.  I'm cheating on your son.  Except I'm not, you dumb bitch, because he knows about it.  I'm having sex with two people...outside of marriage! Gasp! Scandal! Except, you know, your own daughters did that, and it wasn't such a big fucking deal.

You say you treated me like a daughter and that I shouldn't take Matt and Melissa's abuse so seriously.  Take your own goddamn advice.  Don't take my story beheading your beloved assholes so seriously.  I mean, it's just a little beheading.  It's no big deal, right?  They're your favorites, everyone knows this, because they were the first ones to get knocked up.  Congratu-fuckin-lations, Melissa, you've managed to make me ashamed to be a woman.  Way to follow the good ol' southern catholic leanings of drop out of school, get married, make babies.  Way to be your own person.

It doesn't matter that I'm going to give them more babies.  Or better ones, even.  Yes, they might be a little black, but so what.  Love them anyway, assholes.  My children will be smarter and more in tune with the world.  Matt doesn't want my fiance spending too much time with Lucas because my fiance has cross-dressed for good reasons (the Breast Cancer run, for example) and he doesn't want that to rub off on his son.  Matt is a terrible example for a father.  I feel like it's almost abuse leaving Lucas in Matt's care for very long.  Or Melissa's, though that's more a case of neglect. 

It just astounds me.  They don't know 90% of the shit Eric and I get up to, but what they do know, they have the gall to judge me and lambast me and castigate me on, and they still somehow convince themselves that they're doing their Christian duty!!!

Yes, I realize I didn't lead your son back into the Christian fold.  Ever think maybe that's because it's not the best avenue for our lives?  Christianity has two main rules: Love each other as yourselves, and Love God above all others.  I'd say the first is the most important one to follow, which Eric does quite faithfully.  The God one isn't necessary as long as you follow the first one.  Personally, I believe in multiple gods - A Goddess and a God, at the very least.  In their close-minded little world, though, it's worse to be a pagan than an atheist.  Fuck em.  That's all I can say is fuck em.  I can't take any more of their bullshit, so I'm just going to pretend they don't fucking exist. 

I'm in your family, assholes.  I'm your family member, too.  You can be ashamed of me, if you want.  That's your choice.  I won't acknowledge you in my books, or in real life, for that matter, unless absolutely necessary.  Your son and I eloped and there's nothing you can do to stop it.  We're going to be married here in 3 weeks and fuck you all.  You can dislike me, you can talk shit about me - all you're doing is hurting your son.  I don't care.  I couldn't care less that hypocrites like you don't like me.  I'm going to continue being a goddess-worshiping, stripping polyamorous person.  If you keep pissing me off, you might even get to know these few facts.  Just to give you an aneurysm.  Just to see how far off your gasket you go this time.  I'm kinda interested, actually.  I'll start off with stripping.  Letting you know I'm a "waitress" in a strip club.  See how well that works.  Once you've almost calmed down from that, I'll tell you I'm a stripper.  And just work from there.

*Sigh* Of course I'm not going to actually do that.  but you gotta admit, the thought is appetizing.

I give up on them.  I'm through with them.  I don't care what they do or what they say anymore.  I'm going to defriend the whole lot of them on facebook, so I can be free a little bit more.  Thank the gods for small favors.

I'm spent.  For now. This'll probably be a running thing for awhile.  I've been done some great wrongs, and this is the only way to vent about it.